The Humble Highness

The Road to Royalty

Archives for November 2018

A Royal Offense

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I’ve always been deeply affected by events and interactions that other people seem to be able to shrug off. This is something I’ve struggled with my entire life and, for years, I never understood why I was this way. I take a long time to relax after being in a crowd, watching an intense movie or dealing with excitable or difficult people. Pretty much any situation that is outside of my calm, controlled environment requires immediate escape and decompression. I’ve always marveled at those who seem to be so unaffected and, over the years, I’ve tried very hard to just let things roll off.

The problem?

I’m just not wired that way, and any attempt to act as though I’m not bothered when I really am is both futile and exhausting. So, being the introspective and determined person that I am, I began researching to find out why I am this way and how to get a handle on the unnecessary mental duress I often experience.

I quickly learned that I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Yep, it’s actually a thing. There is some great information out there for HSPs and I’ve devoured and embraced most of it. I was glad to understand why I was so internally affected by external forces, yet I still felt that my interactions with people should not leave me so anguished.

Then, one day as I was searching for a weekly quote for my office letter board, this one slapped me in the face:

And there it was.

I realized that I was not merely bothered by my interactions with others; I was actually suffering because of them.  More importantly, I was choosing to suffer! Who does that? Being an HSP is one thing—it’s how God made me and I own it–but taking things personally is quite another, especially considering that I interact with people daily, and each interaction has the potential to end quite well or very poorly. I realized that if I didn’t make a change, the odds of consistently having positive and fulfilling interactions were not in my favor.

Most people mean well and would never be intentionally offensive, so if I choose to take their words personally, than I am the one who has a problem. Other people are just difficult, so if that person says something that I choose to take personally, than guess what? I am still the one who has a problem! You see, in both cases, I am the common denominator and my response determines whether I give my power away or keep it.

I’ll choose “keep it” for $500, Alex.

So, I’m heeding the words of the Good Book, “Good sense and discretion make a man slow to anger, and it is his honor and glory to overlook a transgression or an offense [without seeking revenge and harboring resentment]”. Proverbs 19:11.

The Result

I’m practicing not taking things personally and’m glad to say I’ve had immediate, positive results. Now, I have in no way perfected this, so if you choose to try me, things still have the potential to go south. However, I am embracing this concept and I like what I’m seeing both in myself and others–even those that I once allowed to get under my skin.

So, what do you think? Do you struggle with taking things personally? Are you letting others control you? Are you ready to take your power back?

Warning: this is not an easy thing to master! Should you choose to put this into practice, be gracious and patient with yourself.

 

If, like me, you need a little help from above, consider the following verses:

  • …be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger James 1:19
  • A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute. Proverbs 15:18
  • He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. Proverbs 16:32

 

The Little Princess

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A Royal Visit

Last week the King and Queen (my awesome parents) visited me for the holiday weekend [insert blaring trumpets here]. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving meal and, the next day, I invited some friends over. Unbeknownst to me, my mom was armed with a photo album containing some of my childhood photos. Having a captive audience, she proceeded to do what moms do, much to the amusement of my friends. Although slightly embarrassing, it got me reminiscing about my childhood, which led to this post:

5 Childhood Facts about Yours Truly

1. I was born in England.

My dad was stationed at RAF Alconbury, and my brother and I were born on Lakenheath AFB. I was a fat baby (there’s no sugar coating it); so fat, in fact, that the local women referred to me as a heffalump–not a good set up for positive body image, self-esteem and girl power, but I digress. Since my brother and I were so young when we moved away, my parents took us to visit London when we were older and it was one of my favorite childhood trips.

2. As a military brat, I moved often.

After leaving England we lived on (or near) Hanscom AFB, Massachusetts; Shaw AFB, South Carolina; Hahn AFB, Germany; and Hill AFB, Utah before my dad retired after 26 years of service. Thanks, Dad!

3. I’ve been to 9 countries and 26 states. 

Along the way I visited many historical landmarks both overseas and in the U.S. The prettiest country I traveled was Germany, which also had the best food; I remember Amsterdam [correction: my mom says this was Rotterdam in the Netherlands, not Amsterdam] being the most fun, although I don’t quite remember why–I’ll have to ask my brother; the saddest place I visited was Dachau.

4. My favorite childhood memory is living in Germany and traveling  with my family.

Since Europe is so small, traveling between countries is similar to driving from state to state, so it was nothing to pack our bags and head to Belgium or Luxembourg for a  weekend, and flying down the autobahn made it super quick (and a little scary).

5. I consider Beaufort, South Carolina home.

We moved to Beaufort upon my dad’s retirement from the Air Force. Both my mom and dad were born there (although my mom was raised in New York), so we spent a lot of time both in Beaufort and in New York visiting my grandmothers and other family between moves. I love my hometown. In addition to the beautiful people and scenery, Beaufort boasts a rich heritage, history and culture that you’d be hard pressed to find in any other city.

So that’s it!

I’m feeling a little nostalgic and wanderlust is creeping in. Do you have a favorite childhood memory? More importantly, are you creating great memories now? I hope so!

Until next time…

A Noble Intent

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It just clicked!

We’ve all had that one friend that suddenly figures out the meaning of life and wants to share it with the world. Perhaps this friend struggled through a difficult situation and suddenly had an epiphany. Let’s say she struggled with her weight. Many of us can relate to that. Perhaps this friend struggled for years to get into the mindset to eat properly and exercise. Then one day something clicks and said friend is suddenly killing in the weight loss department! She begins to put herself first, nourish her mind and soul, eat mindfully, and watch her portions. She starts to look and feel better than ever.

You are ecstatic for your friend because you know how she once struggled, and you’re one of her biggest cheerleaders. That is, until the day you join her for lunch and she starts counting your calories. She suggests some lean protein to replace that greasy burger you ordered, and asks the server to bring you a side salad instead of fries. Now, you really love this friend and you’re happy for her success, but you did not sign up for her “Be a Better You Plan”!

You’re annoyed but you know your friend doesn’t mean any harm. She just had a revelation, an “aha” moment, and now that she’s free from her struggle, she wants you to experience that freedom as well. She cares about you and wants you to live your best life alongside her.

Well, I’m that friend.

I’ve had an epiphany. I’ve stopped struggling and am experiencing the most amazing clarity, and as any friend would, I just want the same for you. Some of you will relate easily. Others have been living royally for years and probably wonder what took me so long! Regardless, I’m hoping you’ll humor me and join me for this ride. This blog is an outlet for me to share thoughts and lessons and hope they land in a place where they can do some good.

Along the way, I might count your calories or override your sugary drink order with some no-fat, no-calorie, no-taste water. And just like with your friend, you might be slightly annoyed, but I hope you’ll always know that I want the best for you.