Divorce is not for the faint of heart. It is ugly, painful, soul-crushing. Absolutely gut-wrenching. It invokes fear, anxiety, pain, confusion, grief. Getting up to face the day is excruciating and the simplest tasks can seem impossible.
Then, you shift, and things begin to change. You begin to feel resolve, hope, peace, clarity, resurgence, power, determination, self-love. It starts as a spark, then becomes an all-consuming flame and suddenly, you know that this is the beginning of something phenomenal; your new life.
The worst part? Telling people. It’s always awkward and never goes as planned:
Scenario 1:
Me: I’m separated.
Person: I’m sorry.
Me: Yeah, don’t be.
Scenario 2:
Me: We’re no longer together
Person: I’m sorry. (Awkward pause while he/she waits for juicy details or for me to fall apart.)
Me (absolutely not sharing details and not falling apart): Yeah, so…how have you been?
Scenario 3:
Random Male: Hey! How’s your husband?
Me: Ummm…he’s good.
Awkward pause…
Me: We’re not together.
What he’s thinking: *nothing*
What I’m thinking: Great, now he thinks I’m hitting on him. I need to end this conversation quickly.
So, how do I make this not awkward (for me, not necessarily for you, LOL)? Post it on my blog.
So, there you have it. The official announcement of the demise of my marriage. I read somewhere that instead of asking why something is happening to you, you should instead ask, what is this teaching me? There is always a lesson and I’m learning many as I go. One of my favorites so far? My parents were right–I really can do anything.
Shout out to my family and friends for the love and support; for respecting the fact that this is my story to tell and letting me tell it when I was ready. I love you all royally!
Floretta Glover says
Wow…there never was doubt in my heart that you would get where you are. You’re intelligent, beyond brilliant, generous and so much more. To top it off, you’re forgiving. You know how to win!!!! I feel happiness and joy having you as my daughter. 😘
Monique says
Thanks Mom! I learned from the best. ❤️
Kristen says
Love and Hugs to you! When you’re having a rough day just remember your TRS family. Well remember you’re not alone and that you have different family members that fill different needs; laughter, tears, prayer, you name it your Rolodex is full of those that love you! 😘
Monique says
🙏🏾💕